我真的很天真, 以为找到爱情, 以为之前说爱我都是真的, 以为你对我说的一切，做的一切都是对我爱的表现。但现在我才发现，其实一路来你并不以为然。以一句＂爱有时候可以很扑朔迷离，我只喜欢做自己爱做的事。＂就推搪过去。
其实，几天前当我重读我俩以前的交谈，心里就有一股不祥的感觉，突然发现以前我一次又一次告诉你，我在寻找一段长久的恋爱，一场可以永连天理的恋爱。你至今都记得，证明你一路来都记得，一开始你就已经懂得你无法给我我要的东西。那么为什么一次又一次将我带入那所谓＂爱＂的漩涡，让我以为我经历了一场真爱，其实那是一场谎言。我就像个傻瓜被人耍弄，整整六个月。我还笨得以为你就是我命中的那人，还为你流了一次又一次的眼泪。
多想可以恨你，因为如果可以恨你， 我就会好过一些。我恨不了你，只能恨我自己。恨我天真，轻易相信你对我所说的一切，为我所作的一切，对我的关怀。恨我高估自己，以为真的有本事， 带动身边人的觉醒，让他们可以朝向一个更好的人生。我现在才发觉，我什么都不是，只是一个自以为是的小女孩。
我累了，很想对自己，对生活不负责任。谢谢你，教会了我，不再轻信爱情，不再轻信任何人的一言一语，甚至连自己的判断都不可以相信。谢谢你，给了我一个惨痛的教训，用了我人生的爱情，还了这一堂昂贵的课。
I was naive, thought I found love. Thought that all the you love me, all the things you said, you did was a declaration of your love to me. But, reality was different from illusion. For you, right now, love can be confusing at some time. You just do what you like to do for now.
Actually, few days back, I was reading back all the conversations we had, & trepedition grew in my heart. I read that time & again I told you I was looking for a long term relationship, I was looking for someone to settle down with. Till date, you remembered, which mean all along you have not forgotten, and you knew from the very beginning you couldn't give me what I want, then why time & again brought me deeper into the trap of love, made me believed that I experienced true love, only to realized that the whole thing is built on lies. For a whole six months, I was being toyed like a fool. I was so stupid to think that you are the one, & tears has flowed couple of times for you.
I wish I could hate you. Because I will feel better by hating you. I realized that I couldn't hate you, I can only hate myself. Hate my naivety, easily believing all that you said to me, all that you done for me, all your care. Hate that I think too highly of myself, thought that I have the power, to go out there create small influences, to make a difference in other's life. Now then I realized, I am nothing, just a little girl who thinks too highly of herself.
I am tired. I just wish that I can be not be responsible for myself, for my life. Thank you, for teaching me, not to believe in love, not to believe in anything that others said or do, not even to believe in my own judgment. Thank you, for teaching me a painful lesson, for using my love, as the price to pay for.
其实，几天前当我重读我俩以前的交谈，心里就有一股不祥的感觉，突然发现以前我一次又一次告诉你，我在寻找一段长久的恋爱，一场可以永连天理的恋爱。你至今都记得，证明你一路来都记得，一开始你就已经懂得你无法给我我要的东西。那么为什么一次又一次将我带入那所谓＂爱＂的漩涡，让我以为我经历了一场真爱，其实那是一场谎言。我就像个傻瓜被人耍弄，整整六个月。我还笨得以为你就是我命中的那人，还为你流了一次又一次的眼泪。
多想可以恨你，因为如果可以恨你， 我就会好过一些。我恨不了你，只能恨我自己。恨我天真，轻易相信你对我所说的一切，为我所作的一切，对我的关怀。恨我高估自己，以为真的有本事， 带动身边人的觉醒，让他们可以朝向一个更好的人生。我现在才发觉，我什么都不是，只是一个自以为是的小女孩。
我累了，很想对自己，对生活不负责任。谢谢你，教会了我，不再轻信爱情，不再轻信任何人的一言一语，甚至连自己的判断都不可以相信。谢谢你，给了我一个惨痛的教训，用了我人生的爱情，还了这一堂昂贵的课。
I was naive, thought I found love. Thought that all the you love me, all the things you said, you did was a declaration of your love to me. But, reality was different from illusion. For you, right now, love can be confusing at some time. You just do what you like to do for now.
Actually, few days back, I was reading back all the conversations we had, & trepedition grew in my heart. I read that time & again I told you I was looking for a long term relationship, I was looking for someone to settle down with. Till date, you remembered, which mean all along you have not forgotten, and you knew from the very beginning you couldn't give me what I want, then why time & again brought me deeper into the trap of love, made me believed that I experienced true love, only to realized that the whole thing is built on lies. For a whole six months, I was being toyed like a fool. I was so stupid to think that you are the one, & tears has flowed couple of times for you.
I wish I could hate you. Because I will feel better by hating you. I realized that I couldn't hate you, I can only hate myself. Hate my naivety, easily believing all that you said to me, all that you done for me, all your care. Hate that I think too highly of myself, thought that I have the power, to go out there create small influences, to make a difference in other's life. Now then I realized, I am nothing, just a little girl who thinks too highly of herself.
I am tired. I just wish that I can be not be responsible for myself, for my life. Thank you, for teaching me, not to believe in love, not to believe in anything that others said or do, not even to believe in my own judgment. Thank you, for teaching me a painful lesson, for using my love, as the price to pay for.
No comments:
Post a Comment