当一个男人真正爱他的女人的时候 When A Man Truly Loves His Woman

When a man truly loves his woman

看到了这篇文章，脑海里浮出的是你。 当一个男人爱上一个女人时，他了解她的恐惧与无助，而他想做的，就是带给她快乐。你知道我若没收到你每天早上的早安，我会很失落。你就几乎每天早上传简讯给我，让我每天以笑脸迎接每一个早晨。

当一个男人爱上一个女人时，他做错了，会期望她的原谅，也不会让别人欺负她。你知道，我俩的事，你错在先，你说该怪的人是你。道歉，是为了祈求原谅。之前的种种小事，我都原谅你。我俩的事，我原谅不了我自己。你记得吗， 你曾叫我要好好爱自己。其实是你懂得我想要做的事情后，你要保护我， 不让我受伤害。

当一个男人爱上一个女人时，他忍受不了没有她的每一天。他了解她需要的安全感。有些早上，你告诉我，你希望起床时我在你身边，你可以吻我的额头，祝我早安。你知道，当你把我放在你心头第一位时，你给予了我所需的安全感，我就不会烦你。

昨天，与一个网友在交谈，谈起了你。他觉得可笑，我竟然为一个只谋面一次的男人陷入如此深。我无法解释这不可思议的事。是我自作多情吗？自己自导自演，你根本没爱过我？因为用嘴巴说的话，很多时候并不需要为它负责任。他希望我不再为你继续伤心下去，他希望我可以到外面的世界，认识一些朋友，而不是在网上寻找。因为谈到你时，我的心还是痛的，眼泪还是不禁留下来。

是时侯放下了，是时侯不可以再扭曲事实，给借口。是时侯提醒我自己，这一切都是我自作多情。是时候说再见了。

When I read this article, you came to my mind. When a man loves his woman, he understands her fears & distress, and his desire is, to bring her happiness. You know I will feel lost when I don't receive your good morning every morning. And you will do your best to text me good morning almost every day, letting me start my day with a smile. 

When a man loves his woman, he craves her forgiveness if he hurts her, and he doesn't allows others show her disrespect. You are aware that, for us, you did wrong from the very beginning. You said you were to be blamed for all these. Apologies, is to seek for forgiveness. I forgive you for all the small matters you didn't do. I am unable to forgive myself about us. Do you remember, that you made me make a promise to love myself more? Especially after you found out what I intend to do, you wanted to protect me, not wanting me to get hurt. 

When a man loves his woman, he can't stand a single day without her. He understand her needs for his security. Some mornings, you said that you wished I was beside you when you woke up, so that you could just turn around & kiss me at my forehead & wished me good morning. You know that when you put me first in your heart, gave me the sense of security, I wouldn't bugged you. 

Yesterday, chatted with an online friend, spoke about you. He thinks it's funny, that I will fall so deep for a man I only met once. I couldn't explain this ridiculous situation. Was I imagining it, thinking that you loves me while actually you don't? It's all just words, and you need not be responsible for it. He hopes that I can get out of the grievance against you, go out there in the real world meet real friends. When spoke of you, I can still feel my heart hurting, & my tears will still flow. 

It's abott time to let go. It's about time stop twisting the truth, to continue making excuses. It's about time to remind myself, that I just over imagining things. It's about time to say good bye. 

我要嫁给你，你敢吗？ I want to marry you, would you dare to say yes??

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=203060543199434

其实，开始这部落格的念头是从这＂非常完美＂短片的灵感。被感动的时候， 是在女主角告白的时间。见到了她的勇气，见证了她为爱情的牺牲、付出，看见了她追求那属于她的爱情，然后想起我俩，恨自己没她的勇气，争取自己的爱情。当时，见证她勇于告白后，很想问你，"我想嫁给你，你敢吗？＂然后看你会有什么样的反应。开心？苦恼？挣扎？痛苦？

至今，有时读到一些文章，关于爱情，关于夫妻之道，脑海里还是你的名字，你的脸孔。然后我会感到很失落。这几天我在驾车时都心不在焉。 脑海里时不时浮现你的脸孔，你对我说的一些话，你对我的关怀。 我知道我不可以再联络你，因为那只会带给我更多的痛苦。

你也知道，这些日子，我都把时间安排得满满的，搞得自己很累，回到家倒头就睡。就是避免我有多余的时间想你，然后难过。前晚，女友问我，为何把时间安排得这么满，我到底在逃避些什么？她提到逃避，我才发觉，我真的是在逃避，不想面对摆在面前的现实。不想面对那曾经爱得最深却也伤我最深的人。不想面对那曾给我一个世界却又从我手中夺走的人。

我还记得我给你的承诺，但我现在只想对自己不负责任。就像你自己所说，只要不杀人放火，就随心所欲做自己想做的事。

The idea of starting this blog came after I watched this video. When the girl made her confession, it touches me deeply. Admired her courage, the sacrifice she made, the certainty he was the one for her, chasing for her love of her life, thought about us. Hate myself for not having the same kind of courage she has, to fight for my love. When I saw her courageous confession, I was tempted to ask you the same question," I want to marry you, will you dare to say yes?" & observe the kind of reactions you have. Will you be happy? Troubled? Struggle? In pain?

Till date, sometimes I came across articles, talking about love, about relationship, it's still you who came to my mind. Then I will feel down. I have not really been paying attention when I am driving these couple of days. Your face still came to my mind, your words, your care. I know I can't contact you anymore, cos I will just create more pain for myself.

You do know that recently I kept myself very busy, to make myself so tired that when I got home, I got no time nor energy to miss you, and then feel sad and moody about it. 2 nights ago, a girlfriend asked me why did I arrange my schedule till so packed, what was I running away from? When she mentioned the word running away, then it dawned on me that, I am running away. Running away from the facts glaring in front of my face, running away from the man I once love deep & hurt me the most. Running away from the man who gave me a world then took away from me.

I remembered the promise you made me do, just that for now I just want to not be responsible for myself. Just that you once told me, as long as no killing, no causing of bodily harm, just want to do what I feel like doing for now. 

报复 Revenge

自古，男人的生理构造是播种，播得越广越好。可是，为何有些男人虽然有股冲动，却永不愿跨出那线，是怕老婆、怕麻烦、还是选择不愿给予老婆那种伤害。有些每回在外玩完后， 还是会回家，是因为偷吃刺激，还是还爱着老婆，但生理上满足不了，还是离婚很麻烦。种种原因，无从说起。

有些人，当感情破裂时，选择离婚。离婚后，心情低落，行尸走肉。选择复合，可能是心里还爱着，可能是为了孩子，而接受了复合。却可能复合后才发现，每每看到对方，就回想起曾被背叛过，而下意识地报复。可能是因为要给孩子一个完整的家，选择名义上的夫妻，认为这没问题。孩子不笨。大人的关系好不好，小孩都可察觉到。表面上是个完整的家，底里却比离婚更丑陋。就连心情低落，选择出外发泄，也不向枕边人倾诉，这样的家庭，挺不更可悲。我们身为大人们，往往没想到，孩子们的处世方式，都是跟他们身边的成人们学习。若是我， 我会选择离开。我可能会遇到一个更好的，更疼我的，而孩子们身心会更健康。因为离开，并不代表不会再见到孩子。而可能因为新的家庭更美满，而孩子受惠更多。

每个人都有选择，有些男人在诱惑面前可以说不，因为太爱身边的人，而不忍接受让身边人承受痛苦。我爸偷吃过，为了孩子，放弃那个女人，再也不在外偷吃。既然几经选择了结婚，就要为了他\她幸福着想。婚姻，并不是签了结婚证书，就可以什么也不做，大家就会永远幸福快乐。婚姻\爱情是需要用心去保温、去保鲜，这样才能长久。既然选择，就不要轻易放弃。但如果裂缝太大，无法弥补，就给大家自由，寻找另一片天空。

Since ancient times, men are biologically wired to plant their seeds as widely as possible. Then, why is it that there are men in the world even though tempted, will never cross the line? Is it because they are afraid of their wife, because it's troublesome, or choose not to cause the kind of hurt on their wife? Some men will still return to their wife even though they may have one on the side. Is it the excitement of having one on the side, believing the wife will never find out? Or still love his wife, just that the sex has been unsatisfying? Or that divorce is a very troublesome matter? It's hard to determine the real cause. 

Some choose divorce when they know that the whole marriage has broken down. And then they went into depression. Some after divorce got back together, maybe because still love the other party deep down, maybe because of the kids. Then realized that, every time, they are just being reminded that thy have been betrayed before, & subconsciously has chosen revenge. They are still together, just so to provide the children a "functional family", think that the arrangement is fine. We adults often underestimate the child's ability to grasp & understand the reality of the world, not realizing that children learnt from their parents' behavior. The children know that something is wrong somewhere, & this will be uglier situation than if their parents has chosen divorce. The worst is that you chose to seek outside for a relief, than to look for the one beside you when you are feeling down. This is just pure sad. If this happen to me, I will choose to leave. I might meet someone better, crazy about me, & the children will grow up in a healthier environment. Choosing to leave, doesn't mean I am giving up my duty as a parents. Rather, because there are more love in the new family, the kids will benefits as well. 

Everyone has a choice. Some men chose to say no in front of temptation, because they love their woman too much, & couldn't bear to cause such hurt onto her. My dad has an affair before, & given the women up because of his love to us, his children. If you have chosen to a marriage, then you should care about the happiness of your partner. Marriage doesn't work by just signing the certificate & saying I do, then no more efforts needed to be put in, & it will be happily ever after. Marriage/love require efforts, in maintaining the relationship, in keeping a sense of excitement in it. Once chosen, do not say let go easily. But if it has been broken, then choose to free each other, in search for a better future. 

婚姻（真爱）不是关于你 Marriage(true love) isn't about you

有人在面书上载了一篇文章，题名为＂婚姻不适合你＂。"婚姻不适合你。结婚并不是让自己开心的途径，结婚是为了让对方开心。不仅如此，婚姻不是为自己，结婚是为了一个家庭。家庭并不指是岳父岳母， 而是你未来的孩子们。你想要谁帮你将孩子领导成人？你想要谁成为他们的榜样？ 婚姻不适合你，婚姻不是为自己。婚姻是与你永连天理的人。＂

＂真正的婚姻（爱情）从来不是关于你。真正的婚姻（爱情）是关于你爱的那个人：他\她的希望、他\她的需求、他\她的期望、他\她的梦想。＂读到这里， 你再次浮上我脑海。想起那些一起度过的时间，你所做的一切，是为了让我开心。眼泪不禁流下脸颊。你知道我的希望，我的需求，我的梦想、期望、恐惧。一次又一次，你总是可以让我感到温馨，对我说出我当时想听的话。

至今，我还是很懊恼，懊恼你，更懊恼我自己。懊恼让自己陷入此刻的处境，失去对爱情的信心。对于事业，我是一个充满信心、懂得自己所追求、肯定自己的女人。对于爱情，我是一个迷失方向、充满恐惧感、一感到危机拔腿就跑的小女孩。我已踏出一步在一条没有回头的路，至少这是我的心要去的地方。没有承诺，没有戏剧化，只想有人陪伴。

Read an article which someone shared on facebook titled 'Marriage isn't for you'. "Marriage isn't for you. You don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, marriage isn't for yourself, you're marrying for a family. Not just the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It's not about you. Marriage is about the person you married."

"A true marriage(and true love) is never about you. It's about the person you love- their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. " When I read this, you came into my mind again. I started to realized those months, the things that you did, is to make me happy & my tears started flowing. You knew that by wishing me good morning firs thing in the morning made me happy. You knew what I wanted, you knew what I needed, you knew my dreams, my hopes & my fears. Time & again you just never fail to amaze me, things you said was exactly what I needed to hear at that point of time.

Was upset, upset toward you, more so upset towards myself. Upset that I allowed myself to get into the mess that I am in, & ended up getting more than what I bargained for, & fully lost confidence in love. When it comes to career, I am a woman full of confident, sure of myself, aim for the path that I wanted in my life. When it comes to love, I am a lost little girl, full of fear & will run at the first sign of danger. I have taken my first step towards a path where there is no return, at least there is where my heart wants to be for now. No commitment, no drama.. Just to enjoy the company.

天真 Naive

我真的很天真, 以为找到爱情, 以为之前说爱我都是真的, 以为你对我说的一切，做的一切都是对我爱的表现。但现在我才发现，其实一路来你并不以为然。以一句＂爱有时候可以很扑朔迷离，我只喜欢做自己爱做的事。＂就推搪过去。

其实，几天前当我重读我俩以前的交谈，心里就有一股不祥的感觉，突然发现以前我一次又一次告诉你，我在寻找一段长久的恋爱，一场可以永连天理的恋爱。你至今都记得，证明你一路来都记得，一开始你就已经懂得你无法给我我要的东西。那么为什么一次又一次将我带入那所谓＂爱＂的漩涡，让我以为我经历了一场真爱，其实那是一场谎言。我就像个傻瓜被人耍弄，整整六个月。我还笨得以为你就是我命中的那人，还为你流了一次又一次的眼泪。

多想可以恨你，因为如果可以恨你， 我就会好过一些。我恨不了你，只能恨我自己。恨我天真，轻易相信你对我所说的一切，为我所作的一切，对我的关怀。恨我高估自己，以为真的有本事， 带动身边人的觉醒，让他们可以朝向一个更好的人生。我现在才发觉，我什么都不是，只是一个自以为是的小女孩。

我累了，很想对自己，对生活不负责任。谢谢你，教会了我，不再轻信爱情，不再轻信任何人的一言一语，甚至连自己的判断都不可以相信。谢谢你，给了我一个惨痛的教训，用了我人生的爱情，还了这一堂昂贵的课。

I was naive, thought I found love. Thought that all the you love me, all the things you said, you did was a declaration of your love to me. But, reality was different from illusion. For you, right now, love can be confusing at some time. You just do what you like to do for now.

Actually, few days back, I was reading back all the conversations we had, & trepedition grew in my heart. I read that time & again I told you I was looking for a long term relationship, I was looking for someone to settle down with. Till date, you remembered, which mean all along you have not forgotten, and you knew from the very beginning you couldn't give me what I want, then why time & again brought me deeper into the trap of love, made me believed that I experienced true love, only to realized that the whole thing is built on lies. For a whole six months, I was being toyed like a fool. I was so stupid to think that you are the one, & tears has flowed couple of times for you.

I wish I could hate you. Because I will feel better by hating you. I realized that I couldn't hate you, I can only hate myself. Hate my naivety, easily believing all that you said to me, all that you done for me, all your care. Hate that I think too highly of myself, thought that I have the power, to go out there create small influences, to make a difference in other's life. Now then I realized, I am nothing, just a little girl who thinks too highly of herself.

I am tired. I just wish that I can be not be responsible for myself, for my life. Thank you, for teaching me, not to believe in love, not to believe in anything that others said or do, not even to believe in my own judgment. Thank you, for teaching me a painful lesson, for using my love, as the price to pay for.